As the weather gets warmer, picnics, cookouts, all things outdoors, and social gatherings begin to fill our calendars. It's a time for fun, fellowship, and food. For the majority of the population, this is an exciting time, no holds barred, and an eagerness to try new foods that you've heard about, your friend's grandma's amazing award winning peach pie, etc. Then there are the people with food restrictions, whether it's an allergy, intolerance, or a preference. It's becoming more common and chances are that if you're having any kind of social function with food, whether it's a picnic, wedding, sleepover for your child, or even just bringing a treat into the class, chances are there is at least one person with some sort of food limitation. I'm not just talking about your Uncle Ned who overly indulges at every event and shares how miserable he is, but comes armed with his own bottle of antacids, although he could probably benefit from a food journal.
For the most part, those of us with food intolerances aren't actually asking anybody to completely change your menu plans. (Those with air born food allergies are a different category.) How can you include those with food limitations, stay within your budget, and serve what you want? It's actually much easier than you think. What we often would really appreciate is a heads up that a function is coming up, preferably with a few days notice.
Even if the food limitation is a result of choice, it's important to understand that once our bodies don't have a certain type of food for an extended period of time, the body can become adjusted to not having it and therefore experience a variety of side effects as a result when it is reintroduced, whether intentionally or not. I promise that the decision to restrict foods isn't a decision that was made lightly. It's one that in the beginning and even at different times can seem incredibly overwhelming. We have been questioned or even ridiculed at different times, and even by our own family members. This wasn't easy. In the south especially, there's a manners approach of wanting to include everybody, which isn't a bad thing in many occasions, but food is different. Asking us to just "try a bite" of your Great Aunt Ethel's amaze balls pecan pie could cause anything from severe GI distress to weeks of inflammation to anaphylactic reaction. Do not put somebody in a position of feeling rude for declining when the repercussions are an in depth discussion they are trying to not have because they would prefer not to be the Debbie Downer at your party.
If this a picnic potluck style setting, the easiest way to help those with food limitations is to write or print the list of ingredients and place it in front of the dish. Also, please bring a serving utensil for the dishes you bring. Sharing serving utensils from one dish to another creates an issue with cross contamination and puts people at risk for having a reaction. Below is a tag that I wrote up for the cookies I am planning on bringing to a church picnic. (I don't claim to have the neatest handwriting.) Listing the ingredients allows people to see if there are any other allergen issues I might have missed. I also highlighted the top allergen concerns to make it easy to identify them.
If you are bringing class treats in for a special occasion, the best thing is to either notify the teacher with at least 24 hours notice (the Friday before is ideal in case we need some time to do some baking) that you will be bringing in a treat, what it is, and if possible what brand or what store it is coming from. This eliminates a whole lot of guessing and possibly unnecessary time spent chasing information down or even cooking. Usually, the students with food limitations have a stash in the classroom, but things happen like the stash gets depleted when the student forgets snack, the janitor removes it, etc. If you want to accommodate the student's food issue, the parent can usually provide a few options that will keep your budget in check, is willing to work with parents, and can guarantee avoiding cross contamination, but this is usually not something we expect. Really, we don't expect you to go running all over town to accommodate our child, I promise. I personally have gone with the idea of bringing in small frozen yogurt cups from a local store for my daughter's birthday for the past 7 years. I can always get sorbet if anyone is lactose intolerant or has a milk allergy and the mini cups are affordable.
It's also "wedding season" coming up for the traditional minded June bride. This can be a sensitive subject for those that have limitations, especially if they are in the wedding party, as these can be long days. One way to handle this situation is on the RSVP card, you could type something to the effect of 'If you have food allergies, etc, please reach out to our wedding coordinator at ... to address any questions.' This doesn't commit you to changing the menu, but it allows them to ask questions and plan if they need to bring their own food. The coordinator can reach out to the caterer and field any questions, such as is there chicken stock used to prepare the rice (vegetarians often are overlooked in this type of scenario), is there flour used in the sauces, etc. If you don't have a coordinator, ask one of your wedding party members or a close friend if they are willing to field the calls.
At the end of the day, it might seem cumbersome to know there are so many food limitations out there, but what's important to understand is that nine times out of ten, we simply want a heads up as chances are, we probably have a stash of backup foods you never would have considered we had ready to go. We are looking for information because honestly, we hate asking so many questions and calling attention to ourselves, but we will do it as discretely as possible, if it means keeping ourselves safe and healthy. I often do research on all restaurants before going out to eat ahead of time so that I can minimize these questions when going out with friends or on date night. I also will often offer to pick up food on the way to an event if needed to avoid inconveniencing the other person from running to multiple stores. Finally, even with all of the preparation in the world, it is very common that many still won't eat something homemade from a home where there aren't any food limitations, just because we realize that the person with whom we are speaking may not have an understanding of how big the risk is when it comes to cross contamination. We are much better off if you tell us this isn't safe than to try to avoid hurting our feelings saying it is and putting our health at risk. I promise we appreciate honesty so much more in this situation. Cheers to good health!
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